“The purpose of being in business for myself is not just to make money, but to be a conduit through which money can be channeled as the energy needed to create beautiful things, to facilitate art, and to champion innovate expression and exploration that expands our collective consciousness.” ~A message from the universe for Andrea Klunder
It turns out money is a HUGE trigger for me of impostor-y feelings.
This episode is inspired by my conversation with Alee Reina Hoffman in Episode #6.
“In order to own the success, wealth and abundance that is mine to claim, I also have to own my mistakes, failures and the choices, beliefs and emotions that got me into this pattern in the first place.” ~Andrea Klunder
During my conversation with Alee in episode 6, she defined a “soul innovator” as someone who is here in life, to clear away old energetic patterns and belief systems that are not serving your highest purpose — patterns that you grew up with, or that exist in your ancestry, or if you believe in the possibility of past lives… the evolution of your soul throughout those lifetimes.
As I’ve been creating content and doing interviews for this podcast, the question has come to my mind:
“Is impostor syndrome necessarily a BAD thing, to be overcome or eradicated or ignored? Or is it valid? Useful in some way… pointing us toward something critical in our growth as creative beings? And if so, HOW is it useful?”
So I started to dig into the roots of my own impostor feelings. When does it bubble up? What are the triggers? How does it hold me back?
Money, it turns out, is a HUGE trigger for me.
Money issues hit me right in the gut of my own self-worth and confidence. Of course intellectually, I do not equate my self-worth with how much money I earn, and swimming through my own personal money bin like Scrooge McDuck from DuckTales has never been my primary motivation for most of what I do in my life. Nor, do I inherently believe, on the flip side, that money is the root of all evil… but there is a visceral response that happens, right in my solar plexus, when I feel challenged or threatened financially.
If you’ve ever found yourself tight on money, maybe you know this feeling when…
- you go out to dinner with friends and just order an appetizer (though you’re really hungry) because the entrees are higher than your budget,
- you avoid opening that one envelope in the mail because you know it contains a bill you just can’t pay right now,
- you move out of your apartment and sleep inside your storefront business because you are short on rent,
- you realize you cannot qualify for a program, a loan, a lease, etc because of bankruptcy, eviction or foreclosure,
- you have to explain to your family why you cannot pay back the money you borrowed from them right now,
- you get sick or injured and the first thought that flashes through your mind is whether you can afford to go to the emergency room,
- you find yourself applying for government assistance for food and/or health care and wondering just how you go to this point and whether you have any right to ask for it,
- you are considering taking on yet another part-time job when you’re already working more than 40 hours/ week just to make ends meet.
I will confess to you right now, that I have experienced all of these scenarios in the last 7 years, since I left my full-time nonprofit job to foray into small business ownership, self-employment and entrepreneurship.
And the kicker, the time that it really cuts the most, is when other people, who cannot see into my bank account (and thankfully cannot see into my mind), introduce me as a successful business owner and entrepreneur, or ask me for advice starting a business.
OR when I procrastinate creating a product or service that will help YOU to be inspired to take a risk and put your creative idea/work/project into the world, to go for your dream, because the impostor voice in my head says, “Who do you think you are to be encouraging other people to take risks… you certainly haven’t figured out how to be successful yet!”
So how do we define success, financial health? Can we view taking care of money as a form of self-care?
Fave Money Resources:
Financial Recovery by Karen McCall
So Money Podcast with Farnoosh Torabi
The Get Paid Podcast with Claire Pelletreau
Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Don’t know where to begin?
My How to Start e-course is designed to help you take those first few bold steps on your creative path no matter what! Truly, I’ve taken all the wisdom from my podcast guests, past teachers and a whole lot of experience with failure AND success.
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Also send me a message! What do you think so far? What’s your greatest impostor moment? Email your written comments or leave a voicemail using SpeakPipe — and when you do, I just may read the message or play your voice on a future episode.