CI079: Admitting I’m scared


Every time I lose my voice to laryngitis, I have a fear that it won’t come back.

~Andrea Klunder

What are you scared of?

Having a major health crisis changes the lens on how you perceive things. Long-time fears can resurface with a vengeance and new ones you never considered before can materialize.

I was inspired to do this episode and post by Sarah Buino of the Conversations with a Wounded Healer podcast (which my team edits), who was inspired by the WNYC Studios podcast 10 Things That Scare Me.

Read on for more…

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Selfie of Andrea Klunder with wide eyes inside a local bookstore

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Article Continued

If you’ve been following me this year, you know that I had a mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction of my left breast using abdominal tissue in March 2019 and then this month, a revision to those scars. This was in response to a diagnosis of stage 0 DCIS (pre-cancer) and there is nothing like the “c-word” to bring up FEAR.

When I heard Sarah’s short episode during editing, it hit me in a deep place and then I checked out 10 Things That Scare Me and it’s so simple and brilliant. 

Naming the things that scare. It’s powerful.

Here’s my list (which is very different than what it would have been last year.)

1)    Big cats (tigers, lions, pumas, jaguars, panthers, etc)

2)    Ruining the planet

3)    Cancer

4)    Health insurance (or losing health insurance or inadequate coverage)

5)    That my body will never feel right again post-surgery

6)    Hurting someone deeply without meaning to, without realizing it, or without even remembering what I did (or didn’t do)

7)    Putting things off until never… working and working and working and realizing at the end of my life that none of it matters and that I put off the important things because I was too busy working

8)   Running out of money

9)   Getting old, becoming feeble, being dependent on others, and beging completely alone

10)  Losing my voice (and/or my hearing) — The episode I reference in relation to this one is from Invisibilia: The Prayer.

To hear more stories about the above list, for sure listen to the full episode.


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